Okay, this is not what it sounds, by "Kill yourself" I mean get rid of your old beliefs, habits and fears that are holding you back. "Walk Away" and create the YOU that you want to be.
It may start with faking it until you make in many books and articles, it is suggested that it takes around 30-40 days to break a habit. Now I am not a psychologist, although I do have a major in Psychology and Sociology. I have tried to do this a hundred times but after a few days of being the new Jessica, I would fall back into old patterns.
Behavior change is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill. If that were true, then all the information campaigns on how to improve your health would have made behavior-related illnesses a thing of the past. And birth control information would prevent teen pregnancies. Sadly, many people fail to create lasting change in their behavior and will repeat their failures over and over again in their lives. Have you ever tried to break a habit?
Have you ever tried to break a habit? Even something small at first, like biting your nails when you are stressed? Please share about your experiences.
Shelle Rose Chavret talks about how many of us do well in changing a habit for a few weeks until we revert to our old ways. She talks of the need to have something to look forward to and constantly reminding yourself that what you are doing will have such positive outcomes.
It may help to start an inventory;
Your Motivation Inventory
Do you have a behavior change project that is important to you? Here is checklist with a fill in the blank to make sure you have all your Motivation Triggers in place.
Away From: I do not want ____________________________________________________________.
Toward: What I want instead is ____________________________________________________________.
Negative Consequences: If I don’t succeed, what will happen that I don’t want? ____________________________________________________________.
Positive Consequences: When I do succeed what will happen that I want?
I can see in my mind’s eye an example of each of the above.
I have put this new habit inside this procedure that I already do naturally. ____________________________________________________________.
I am regularly accountable to _______________ for completing my goal.
I believe it is possible to do this because: ____________________________________________________________.
I have already succeeded at something like this in my life when I __________________________________________________________.
This is important to me because
The kind of person who does this is _____________________________________________________________.
I am that kind of person because _____________________________________________________________.
I will start with one particular pattern that I want to change about myself.
Away From: I do not want to come home from work and sit on my butt and watch T.V or sit on the computer and wait for someone to come "take care of me".
Toward: What I want instead is to go for a jog after work, hit the gym, read a book at a local park, cook for myself.
Negative Consequences: If I don’t succeed, what will happen that I don’t want? I will feel terrible about not doing what I KNOW will help and I will sulk and give up.
Positive Consequences: When I do succeed what will happen that I want? I will feel good about myself for taking a step in the right direction, I will feel physically and emotionally better about not running to my apartment right from work and doing something with the energy that is flowing through me.
I have put this new habit inside this procedure that I already do naturally. I will begin small, I can simply take a different route home from work and stop in a store that I have never been to and take notice of how I feel doing something out of routine.
I am regularly accountable to MYSELF for completing my goal.
I believe it is possible to do this because: Despite what my anxiety likes to tell me, I am a strong person.
I have already succeeded at something like this in my life when I moved out of my dad's house to NYC.
This is important to me because I left my comfort zone. Although I am still, after 2 years feeling uncomfortable being out of the house and away from my dad, I am 23 years old and I feel proud of myself for leaving.
The kind of person who does this is a independent person, going out to build their own life.
I am that kind of person because that is the kind of person I want to be!
Please I hope you give this a try and maybe even submit your answers. You can start with one simple bad habit, like smoking.
Take it from Stevie Nicks;
"Landslide" - Fleetwood Mac
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older I'm getting older too
Yes I'm getting older too, so